FIND YOUR FIT BEFORE YOU HAVE A FIT


Staying fit usually means an intentional diet and exercise regime. The goals are to increase your stamina and general sense of well-being. You may realize that you need more strength to bear the load of your physical and psychological demands.

 

Some will have a touch of vanity because they want to increase their attractiveness. And sometimes people get fit to stay alive longer and more comfortably. In all these ways, fitness is important.

 

For most of us our physiology will change over the decades. It is illusory to think that you can go back and wear your high school graduation clothes, but some will make it their goal. There’s the valiant notion of staying fit and the counterbalance of wearing what fits.

 

Just as you adjust the sizing of your clothes to find a comfortable, attractive fit your relationships also need adjustments to fit better. You don’t want to be in a marriage that is too tight or too loose.

 

You must adjust to truthful realities in a marriage. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to maintain the fantasy of a couple twenty-somethings when they are in their later years. As long as you are waiting for your spouse to fit into the dream of marriage you started with forty years ago, you will be frustrated. How much better to adjust your marriage to fit into the people that you both actually are.

 

If someone should say that they fell out of love or married the wrong person, they are usually referring to ideals of relationship that were not open to change or growth. Two people that are willing to forgive and make adjustments do better than two idealists with rigid expectations.

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A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.[1]

 

A wise farmer will adjust the yoke on a team so that there is a balance of load bearing. Your marriage union is a yoke that binds the two of you together. Make sure that you adjust to the reality of having a spouse that is different from you. What if you are a follower of Jesus and your partner is not?

 

 

2 Corinthians 6:

14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

 

 

These 2 verses may be more preventative for people on the front end of choosing their partner. Marry someone that is also committed to the spiritual path you are on. But, if you didn’t choose that and are living in conflict, adjust the yoke.

 

The point of this idea is that you can have an imbalanced load bearing and not be committed to going in the same direction. To keep from going in circles and wearing out, an adjustment needs to be made that allows the weaker one to be accommodated. If they will continue to walk at your side, you will each bear your share of the load together. The one who is committed to the work can lead the one who is just walking at their side.

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Or if the non-believing partner decides that they are not committed to the journey and break free, then you must continue the work that was started in you. But don’t disconnect them if they are willing to go along with you.

 

Of course, the closest alliance one person can have with another is found in marriage, and this is how the passage is usually interpreted. God’s plan is for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), a relationship so intimate that one literally and figuratively becomes part of the other. Uniting a believer with an unbeliever is essentially uniting opposites, which makes for a very difficult marriage relationship.[2]

 

How can two people cooperate if they are each committed to achieving different ends? There will be a working tension in the relationship and a series of compromises. As long as you understand that and commit to love each other, you can make the best of it and have a reasonable marriage. But, how much greater when two people view their marriage as an exploration of God’s love?

 

 

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