Still 'fine-tuning' our process. You can get to the original article HERE
NOTE: THIS ARTICLE is a reprint from the blog of reverend Kevin Rogers of New Song Church in Windsor, Ontario and is reproduced here for your convenience. You can visit the his blog called "The Orphan Age" HERE.
More than once, you have heard how important it is to be a ‘good
listener’. Once in a while someone will accuse me of being a good listener.
I take it as a compliment, but I also know about the times that I let my mind
wander or find myself thinking about how to finish up an exhausting listening
If you ask me to recall what was said, I often settle for
the gist and may miss some of the exact words and phrases. So, what am I doing
when I practice listening?
First, I need to tell myself that it is time to listen. I
need to remove distractions and set aside my time.
Second, I am consciously determined to be attentive to the
person. It’s not just listening to the words. I am watching their body
language, listening to their emotional tone, and thinking about their
Third, I try to look at their face and give just enough ‘mmhmm’
and ‘uh-huh’ to let them know that I’m still following.
Fourth, I am comparing their communication with what I know
to be true about them. I am growing in
my knowledge of who they are.
Through practice, I have learned to be a patient listener
and enjoy it most of the time.
On the other aspect of what the communicator delivers, there
are things that make listening easier. I need to know if I am just to listen or
if the one speaking needs me to respond in a particular way. Am I supposed to
help them solve a problem? Are they wanting me to validate their feelings? Are
they telling me something to influence my opinion of them or the ones they are
referring to? This is where listening can get anxious—not knowing what the
other person is looking for. It’s a good idea to bring clarity so that we know
what we are doing in this conversation.